BOO!
 
Gotcha! We were going to throw a little talcum powder around, too, but our Spoilsport Specter, W Collection, threatened to quit if we did. And since this is the Grumpy Ghost's favorite time of year, we gave in.
 
WC has been acting even more strangely than usual since the national emergency began. For a while we all stayed tuned to our favorite News, Weather and Spores channel, in an attempt to keep up with the President's Theory du Jour. But now WC refuses to watch him at all, insisting that his addresses contain coded messages. "That has to be it," says the Miraculous Mirage, "Otherwise the things he's saying make no sense at all!"
 
Well, when things don't make sense, what better explainer than "Dry-Gulch George," our own pistol-packin' prez? Got questions? Watch how quick he brings the answers back -- dead or alive. particularly in this week's installment of "Back of My Mind." Get 'em, buckaroo.
 
And, hey, aren't you getting just a little tired of all those complaints about misguided "smart bombs"? You blow up a few Red Cross installations, and right away they're all "Oh, we're so self-sacrificing, how could you do this to us?" and like, "Oh, we're so 'saving people's lives'". Well, they're not fooling anyone around here. WC has never trusted the Red Cross. "It's very suspicious," observes the perceptive zeitgeist, "They seem to be everywhere. Have you ever noticed -- whenever there's a war or disaster, they're always right there, almost as soon as it happens? How stupid do they think we are?"
 
A good question for us all. How stupid are we?
 
Next week, the Maximum Leader takes to the ocean in pursuit of the unattainable, in a stirring American sea-saga we're calling "Mobilized."
 
In the meantime, let's put an end to this fruitless speculation about who is running the war effort. Mack Sennett has been dead for years.
 
Until next time (pretty much a 50-50 proposition, if you ask me), cheerio,
 
Hank
 
PS: In Liberal Slant this week, I note the sad demise of yet another national treasure, in "An Icon Transits"