We applaud the President's decision to take a well-earned month-long rest; what he terms a "working" vacation. So that's when he does it!

Resident Gloater, W Collection, points with pride to the President's stunning and unexpected victories in energy and patients' rights legislation, but fumes over the defeated nomination of Mary Sheila Gall as the new head of the Consumer Product Safety Commission. Some critics have accused her of having a "pro-industry" bias, citing as example her recent characterization of a dozen infant bath-seat deaths as the result of parental neglect, rather than obvious flaws in the products themselves. WC has long felt that consumers have a great deal of...nerve (Whew! We almost said "Gall"), and fears an over-emphasis on safe products might open the floodgates. "Where would that sort of thing end?" asks the Peeved Phantom.

Before hying off to the hinterlands, the President attempts to enhance national security by instituting an innovative training exercise. The event focuses on the unthinkable - something with which the President has broad experience. The results are radiantly disclosed in "13 Dazed".

And please, gentle readers, let us have an end to the calumnious Internet rumor that purports to quote a study at the non-existent "Lovenstein Institute", which concludes that the President has the lowest IQ of any of his predecessors. The fictitious document compares Bill Clinton's alleged "182" with the President's "91". Staff Gumshoe, WC, was instantly alerted when noticing that both scores were suspiciously high.

Next week, a presidential communication about the scariest man in the Congress (no, not the Ethics and Morals Advisor), which we're calling "Cellmates".

Until then, remember: a smile is just a frown turned upside down.

Hank