Staff Weapons Specialist, W Collection, has drawn our attention to the Pentagon's recent triumphal test of the Missile Defense Shield, which, like WC is another hopeful phantom. The interception succeeded an impressive 100% of the one time it was attempted.

Of course there will always be critics. Some have complained that the interception team was unduly benefited by the target's coat of shocking pink paint, and the words "Special delivery from Saddam!" stenciled in magnetic foil on the warhead.

Nonetheless, Team W applauds the masters of American defense technology. As most are aware, the Defense Shield is principally a software feat that redounds to the credit of America's programmers - the best in the world. We recently read a marvelous article about the superiority of American software development that we had hoped to share with you, but our operating system crashed last night, and we lost the file. But it was highly laudatory.

Speaking of things irretrievably lost, we were glad to see the President has gotten some well-earned rest from his European labors, and has found time to grace us with another installment of "Back of My Mind". In this episode, the Garrulous Guru fields questions having to do with an outbreak of perversity in Idaho, a newly-appointed law enforcement official's self-doubts, and an inquiry into the boundaries of freedom.

And here's good news America! No more worries about burdensome power bills! Veepster Dick Cheney has once again led us out of the darkness - so to speak. Soaring energy prices have forced the Vice President to ask his landlord - The U.S. Naval Observatory - to assume total responsibility for paying his power bills. This is why we love the guy so. WC will henceforth routinely forward all of our electric bills to the Naval Observatory, and we urge everyone else to do so as well.

Next week, the Emir of the Executive Office reports on his meeting with three of the world's great religious leaders: Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and Charlton Heston. It should be quite a story.

And, this promotional note: through the agency of threatening correspondence cunningly fashioned from letters cut from old magazines and newspapers, I have once again convinced the Editors of Liberal Slant to publish another of my overwrought monologues. As the fact that you have read this far demonstrates, you clearly have a great deal of disposable time on your hands, so take a look at " Adventures in Democracy: How a Bill Grows up to Become a Great Big Law". Despite the conclusions you might draw from a reading of this work, Liberal Slant has quite a good reputation for quality writing, and although that is now obviously in question, you will nevertheless find some very good articles on its home page.

Until next week, assuming there is one,
Hank