Anxious Team W staff members have been looking high and low for our Web Master. Apparently we weren't looking high enough, because we finally found him way above the city, busily webbing from roof to roof. Gave us the willies, we can tell you.
 
But what really set our Spidey-senses tingling was a recent interview with GOP House Majority Leader, Dick Armey on the MSNBC program, "Hardball," in which the lumpen-legislator offered this cri de coeur: "I'm content to have Israel grab the entire West Bank." Mr. Armey, or as we affectionately think of him, "Slobodan Dick," went on to say that the present occupants of the territories could, as far as he was concerned, be resettled to "homelands" that might be provided by any Arab state that would take them.
 
We presume that Mr. Armey employed the relatively mild term "homeland" due to his unfamiliarity with the starker South African concept of "Bantustans," which forced him to think on his feet. Or, perhaps, with his feet.
 
It could not immediately be ascertained whether the loud rapping noise heard following these comments was due to Ariel Sharon's vigorously nodded assent, or to Mr. Armey's staff banging their heads against the wall.
 
"Hardball" moderator, Chris Matthews, a man who knows a good headline when he massages it, was seen cackling obscenely as he examined and reexamined the conceptually-challenged congressman's statement from 360 perspectives before devouring it like a Snickers bar.
 
In the increasingly likely event of an American Inquisition (Hurry! Hurry!), Mr. Matthews is a popular favorite for the role of Torquemada.
 
Congressman Armey is one of the seeming hordes of powerful congressional Texans who owe their positions to the breathtaking electoral expertise of White House Counselor Karl Rove. It was Mr. Rove who ensured that every statewide elected office in Texas is now held by a Republican, driving the Democrats before him into the figurative sea much as did St. Paddy the snakes of the Emerald Isle -- of course in this case the serpents were better positioned.
 
We note, quickly and in passing, that the Honorable Dick Armey is currently, and, we presume, comfortably, seated in the town of "Flower Mound".
 
Speaking of felicitous congruence, the War Leader, much against his better judgment (oh yes he does!) decides to again team with arch-necromancer Herr Doktor Professor Alberich Rheingold; this time with surprisingly better results. Venture with us again past doors never meant to be opened, to read "Quiet As a Mouse"
 
By the way, does anyone know of a good otologist? Your W Team's hearing, heretofore as sharp as a disapproving glance from Hillary Clinton, appears now binaurally compromised. While our right ears believe every word Karen Hughes says about homesickness being the reason for resigning her powerful post, our cynical and jaded left ears keep listening for the sound of another shoe. Maybe it's psychosomatic.
 
And finally, a bit of Churchilliana inspired by recent headlines: "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."
 
Until next week: confusion to the enemies of the Crown! Who, believe us, are plenty confused as it is.
 
Hank
 
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