Astronomers are all a-tingle over the heavenly spectacle now playing in a sky near you. From now until mid-May the planets Mercury, Mars, Venus, Saturn and Jupiter will appear as a cluster in the evening sky. The Bush administration gives credit for this rare event to Secretary of State Colin Powell, in view of his tireless efforts to effect their alignment.
 
This celestial comity comes as the result of intense secret negotiations with the ruling body of each planet -- a revelation that may shed some light on the puzzling time gap between the General's departure from Washington and his eventual arrival in Jerusalem for the Middle East talks.
 
We knew he was doing something all that time.
 
Some alarmists have been quick to warn that the planetary alignment presages doom. The last such occurred amid similar warnings of general catastrophe in May of 2000 and, of course, nothing happened -- unless you count November.
 
This won't happen again until the year 2040, by which time the administration confidently expects to have the broad outlines of a possible Middle East cease-fire.
 
This is a timely and critical win for the administration, and in particular for the visibly dispirited and seemingly distracted President. As if the fruitless Middle East peace efforts weren't problem enough, the unhappy Chief Executive has been forced to defend his government against suspicions of U.S. involvement in the attempted Venezuelan coup-not-coup-coup-again.
 
There is an unusual unanimity of opinion as to the United States' role in the attempted ouster of revolving-door Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez Frias. At present, suspicions of our complicity are limited only to the populations of Earth and the five planets mentioned earlier, but the belief is becoming wide-spread.
 
The greatest doubts center on the question of responsibility for 13 deaths of members of a huge public demonstration. U.S. officials at first claimed the shooters were supporters of the fractious, anti-American Chavez, and the victims opponents of his regime. As that explanation crumbled, spokes-persons focused instead on the remarkable coincidence of anti-Chavez snipers being in place before the demonstration began, and the cynical tactics of Chavez supporters who deliberately threw themselves into the path of the bullets.
 
Anything to make a point.
 
As is obvious to even the least observant -- especially to the least observant -- the United States has had no part in these events. To say otherwise would be tantamount to saying that we were involved in all of the other Latin American political upheavals as well. Sounds patently silly when it's put that way, doesn't it?
 
America has always been a staunch supporter of the rule of law and constitutional processes. Of course we also pride ourselves on being a fair-minded but stern parental presence in the world; a position that entails certain responsibilities. If other countries can't use democracy responsibly, we just won't let them have it.
 
This week, we admit a faint sliver of light into the White House camera obscura, to reveal the Maximum Leader's take on the recent Powell peregrinations. Read "Traveling Light" and be in the know.
 
By the way, it was refreshing to hear from Al Gore again. The former Veep has been rather less visible of late than Punxsutawney Phil, and his reemergence brought a new expectation of vigor to the coming presidential campaign. In his statements, Mr. Gore excoriated the Bush administration, and whether we agree with him or not, we nevertheless look forward to many more such forthright pronouncements.
 
Unless, of course, he sees his shadow, or someone speaks harshly to him.
 
Finally, we note that CIA Director George Tenet now gives the President regular intelligence briefings. No word yet on whether or not they're working.
 
Toodles,
 
Hank