In the weeks leading to this important day I have had cause to reflect on both the nature and intent of my public discourse. The subsequent introspection has led me to conclusions that will surprise some and perhaps disappoint others.

Over the past year, my fellow satirists and I have had a great deal of fun holding the President's metaphorical feet to a virtual fire, believing as we did that we were acting in the interests of the greater good.

But I am now convinced that we have missed a signal opportunity to render a vital public service: that of employing our skills and scholarship in support of a man who, after all, is only doing his best.

Whatever our reservations, George Bush is our constitutionally elected leader -- our Commander-in-Chief by the grace of law, if not of God or will. Yes, I am aware that some will say, with self-apparent justification, that he is unintelligent, incurious, uninspired, irresolute, petty and thin-skinned; that he lacks courage, is without vision, is easily daunted, is unreliable, untruthful, and treacherous; that he is a vainglorious, mean-spirited, foolhardy poltroon; a feckless popinjay, a boil on the bum of democracy, etc., etc. -- a list seemingly without end.

But well-meant as these criticisms are, they miss the point. This is no ordinary dumb schmo we're dealing with here, this is the President of the United States, and we must make of that what we can. It is no longer relevant that he was once thought incapable of operating a motor vehicle on the public streets, only that he is now the single most powerful human being on earth.

Accordingly, "W" is being modified to better fit my better understanding. For example, the title "W: The Phantom Presidency" will now be "W: A Really Phenomenal President." Henceforth the journal will become a celebration of all that is right with the President and his administration.

This may be welcome news to those who feel that my work tends to length, since future works under such restriction will necessarily be much, much shorter -- often not appearing at all. Also I think the mailing list will be a lot easier to manage from now on.

All of which frees me to devote more time to my new project, The George Bush National Day of Appreciation Week, to be held May 20th (contact your state chapter for the schedule of events in your area).

Unfortunately I will not be able to join you in the festivities. As luck would have it, that is the very day I am to be crowned King of England, and I expect the ceremonies and duties pertinent to that occasion will take up much of my time. But know that I will be with you in spirit, and that I will watch the nation's development with avid interest from my Sceptered Isle.

And know too that I will always consider America a great place to visit.

Yours in patriotism,
Hank (Henry IX) Blakely