It was a wintertime scandal of stunning proportion. Millions of astonished viewers watched in helpless frustration as, against all notions of logic and fairness, corrupt judges awarded the top prize to the least deserving pair.
 
Now, barely more than a year after that election, the same thing has happened at the Winter Olympics!
 
Clearly, the appropriate answer is to award two presidencies. All of this confusion could have been avoided if only the President had not ended his program with a Triple-Axel of Evil.
 
On a happier note: all Americans take justifiable pride in the genius of our economic system. As the Enron testimony makes abundantly clear, we have now perfected the capitalist system to the point where a business enterprise can rise to the pinnacle without the active involvement of a single one of its executives!
 
Now that's leadership! And inspiring, too, in a mystical sort of way. Rather like a captain-less ship, making it's own way into port. Or a horse that knows the way home. In fact, "horse" would seem to be very near the perfect metaphor for the Enron testimony.
 
And no less praise is due our government. Enron gave millions upon millions of dollars to incumbents, candidates and bureaucrats in every conceivable sphere, and at every possible level of governance. And yet -- by the recipients' very own accounts -- not one of them responded with a single favor of any kind!
 
Now that's integrity! You just can't buy virtue like that anymore.
 
Certainly not at those prices.
 
Speaking of a rich fantasy life, this week, in "Pot Shot: The War in the North", the Cheerleader-in-Chief sends a friendly pre-strike advisory to the head of our favorite nation to the north. And no, we don't mean Russia. This time.
 
Next week: a tale of the Old West; a portrait painted in a Zane shade of Grey, about a true Son of the Sagebrush. Be sure and get a load of Tex Walker Bush, as he fans his hammer in "Gunfighters of the Purple Phrase."
 
And this note: numerous viewers of the Winter Olympics report evidence of a presidential snit in consequence of the warm and sustained ovation accorded the Iranian team. The President is reported to have left the games shortly afterward, and it may be that the Thin-Skinned Thane regarded the crowd's response as a repudiation of his "Axis of Evil" comments. But we at Team W suspect it had more to do with his disappointment upon learning that the South Asian athletes would not be participating in the Tar and Feathers event.
 
Finally, this reminder: the Jell-O Pin is a badge of honor. It is to be worn with pride -- and, perhaps, a few marshmallows.
 
Over and out,
Hank