Happy New Year! The W Team is back, bright-tailed and Bushy-eyed after our holiday break.
 
We had planned, given the increasingly alarming political environment, to winter at a private resort for the politically timid, where we'd hoped to remain until it was safe to come out again. But, unfortunately, the Democratic Congress had already booked all the rooms.
 
So, instead we spent the hibernal interlude sprucing up the W headquarters. Halfway through cleaning the windows we ran out of paper towels, but completed the job using our Enron stock certificates, which are super-absorbent and leave no tracks or smears. (So that's why they call Ken Lay "The Quicker Picker-Upper"!)
 
In the process of moving a box of old layoff notices and unemployment check stubs we discovered a yellowing manuscript from the early 1960s that imagined life four decades hence -- in our very own palindormic year of 2002! The eerily prescient document is entitled "Ahead the Future Lies!"
 
Next week, a little-known episode in our current military conflict is revealed in "Commander George and the Machineries of Doom," where we learn way more than we wanted to know about the Commander-in-Chief's martial skills.
 
Oh, and this week the entire staff has been zooming up and down the streets on our new "Gingers", frightening the whillikers out of horses, innocent babes, and the generally unwary, in preparation for the National Precision Scooter trials. Here's a tip, by the way: you have to lean to the right to slow it down.
 
Oh, and be sure to see our new page of links to some of our favorite online publications.
 
See you when next week rolls around (don't laugh, it could happen),
 
Hank