From: gwb
To: Hank Blakely
Sent: Saturday, March 18, 2001
Subject: The state of my status
 
Well, it's been two months since I started this job, and I think I' been holdin' up the dignity of the office pretty well. Whenever I have a chance to divide, I try to unite a little instead. And I've been tellin' ever'body to start makin' reforms - but to be sure they get some results, too.
 
We like the White House just fine (as you may know, I've been here before). The first coupla weeks was a little hard., 'specially rececoratin' the Oval Office. Laura wouldn't even touch anythin' until she'd made 'em steam clean all the carpets. She had 'em do the ones in the hallway twice. And she flat out had the big chair thrown away. (It took several days before she stopped goin' "Euuuw! Euuuw!", every time she looked at it). Tell'ya the truth, Laura was gettin' to be a little bit of a pain about all that.
 
Tell you one thing, this isn't anythin' like bein' Governor. See, Texas is what y'call a "weak-Governor" state (a job some folks were kind enough to tell me I was perfect for). In that kinda system, it really doesn't make a whole lotta difference what you do, good or bad. (As Jeb used to joke, "That government governs best that has you the least").
 
That was six years ago, and it was my first public office. Man! I didn't know Jack Squat when I started. But by the time I left I knew twice as much.
 
When I started the Governin' job I didn't know what to think half the time. But that sure ain't a problem with this new job. No sir, around here ever'body is practically dyin' to tell me what I think, and it never takes long before I realize that most of 'em is right! . These people don't even need me to tell 'em what to do, they just do it! I always say, pick people who're smarter than you. Lucky for me, I never have any trouble findin' em. Great people. Great people.
 
And I'll be the first one to say I need 'em. An awful lot of problems 're startin' to come outta the woodwork around here. The Middle-East is goin' to hell in a hand-basket. There's stuff goin' on in North Korea that's so scary I try not think about it (and don't, much). And this tax cut is a lot harder to sell than I thought it'd be. On top'a that, the news people are startin' t'say vexin' things about me, and I don't like that at all, no, sir. And while we're on that subject, I gotta say, I think the world of ol' Jim Baker, he sacrificed a lotta his credibility and reputation gettin' me into the WH. But I swear, if he calls me "The Boy-King" just one more time, I'm gonna have a Secret Service Man whomp on him a little just to set things straight. And I can do that, I'm the president.
 
And now we're gettin' these big economical and energetic problems. And I'm startin' to see more in-fightin' amongst the staff - lotta complaints about each other, lotta complaints. . Even worse, the Democrats, who'd been in a nice state of shock up to now, 're startin' to wake up. And, of course, there's this whole thing with Dick C's heart actin' up again, and the press don't seem to be buyin' "everythin's fine" as much as they used'ta..
 
'S funny, this all seemed a lot easier when my predecesseror was sittin' in the chair Laura threw out. You suppose he planned it this way? Y'know, it'd be just like that...that guy to start somethin' and then cut and run just as the stuff started headin' for the fan.
 
Don't get me wrong now, I still love this job, but it does have its problems, and it's startin' to cut into my nap time. I need my nap time.
 
Y'know, this job is kinda like an onion: it's hard to get to the heart of it. You peel away one layer, and the one underneath it looks just the same. The only thing that changes is, the deeper you go, the smellier it gets and the more you feel like cryin'.
 
Well, I gotta get back to my nappin'. Y'all take care.
 
A vexed but vigilant
W