FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
TRANSCRIPT OF A NATIONAL ADDRESS
BY PRESIDENT-ELECT GEORGE W. BUSH
CRAWFORD, TEXAS
6:00 PM, SATURDAY, JANUARY 9, 2001

MR BUSH:

Good evenin', My fellow Americans.

Now look, this is gettin' serious, y'all. I mean it, y'all got to stop pickin' on the Lindas!

First y'all whomped poor old Linda Tripp so hard she went into her plastic surgeon's office and hasn't been seen since.

Now y'all went and made quit poor little Linda Shavez...Chavets - oh, hell, however she spells it - you made her cry so hard she couldn't even find her overseer's whip. And it was a nice one, too.

And just what did she do was so wrong? Just helped out one of her hispanical-persuasioned co-hearts, that's all. All this talk about employer-employee relations is just plain silly. Why, all that nice Guatemalan lady did was a little bit'a ironin', sewin', cookin', cleanin', shoppin' and takin' care of the kids. Hell, all you women out there know, that ain't work - that's love, that's what that is. Now am Ii right or am I right?

All that lady did was the kind of favors one friend does for another - especially when one of the friends is rich and famous and very well-connected. Hell, if she'd been workin' for Linda don't you think she'd a made more than a hundred every two weeks or so? Why, that's not even slave wages!

Now y'all just stop it. I don't care if my next Secretary-Designed is named Linda Blair or Linda Lovelace, y'all just leave'em be, y'hear? And i mean it!

Thank you, and under my administration may god help us .all.