SCENE I	(OPEN TO BLACK SCREEN. SOUND: an echoing stopwatch growing louder with each tick. FADE TO close-up of stopwatch, red second-hand resolutely advancing. VOICEOVER: gravel-throated, apocalyptic tone):
	In a world...
	Where doom...
	is only seconds away...
	Can One man...
	With only a standing army
	And seven thousand nuclear warheads...
	Hope To prevail against...
	(FADE TO RED SCREEN, OVERSIZE BLACK LETTERS )
	MAMMASAURUS!!!
	(MUSIC: Godzilla sting, up and out...)
SCENE II	(INTERIOR: WHITE HOUSE, THE OVAL OFFICE.
	GEORGE and LAURA stand silhouetted against the center window, backs to camera. A bright blue sky, a sunlight-flooded room)
LAURA:	Oh, isn't it beautiful, George?
GEORGE:	Yeah, sure is. It's a pretty good day...pretty good day.
LAURA:	You know, on a day like this, it makes you feel that nothing could...
	(a faint clicking is heard out in the hallway, the room darkens slightly )
LAURA	(curious ): ...what was that?
GEORGE:	(puzzled ) I didn't hear nothin'
SOUND:	(still faint, but steadily increasing, rhythmic clicking )
LAURA	(a little exasperated ) Well, listen, George...there it is again! You hear it now?
GEORGE	(slowly dawning apprehension ): Yeah. I think I do...
	(the clicking grows louder until it becomes recognizable as the sound of steel-toed pumps echoing on a marble floor )
LAURA	(the beginnings of alarm ): George, did mama Bush say she'd be stoppin' by today?
GEORGE:	(nervously ):No, I don't recall she did.
LAURA	(now shaken ): George! I think that's your mama out there!
GEORGE	(distracted, looking rapidly around the room ): Uh huh...y'know, it's funny I never noticed before, but there's only one door in this room
LAURA	(now completely alarmed ): Oh, George, what'ya suppose she wants?
GEORGE	(still distracted, looking around wildly ): Don't know, honey. (his eyes light on the kneehole beneath the desk. He looks at it speculatively for a moment, then grins and makes a beeline for it, just as…
	BARBARA ENTERS, filling the doorway. A substantial figure in black bombazine, hair the color of an avalanche, a beatific smile belied only by eyes reminiscent of stainless steel ball-bearings )
LAURA:	(insincere delight ): Mama Bush! How nice to see you. We didn't...
BARBARA:	(sweetly): ...Know I was coming? I'm sure you didn't, Laura dear. (she enters, sits on couch )
LAURA:	(taking a seat beside BARBARA ): Gee, mama Bush. How nice you're lookin' today. And such a stunnin'...
BARBARA:	...dress? Thank you dear. It's a present from (turns suddenly to GEORGE, one eyebrow raised ) Jeb. He gave it to me for my birthday yesterday. Jeb's such a thoughtful boy.
GEORGE	(a look of unadulterated panic): Oh! Tee moo – I mean, me too, mama, I mean I got you somethin' too, mama. (a moment's pause) Somethin' real nice, too. Heh-heh! (suddenly serious) Only I couldn't give it to you, account I was in the, uh, the WAR ROOM!. Yes! All day in the war room! We was discussin' somethin' real important... about...war...(trails off )
BARBARA:	(seemingly oblivious to his discomfort ): Well that's very kind of you, Georgie. Thank you. I'll certainly look forward to seeing it. (pauses a moment, then, brightly) And what was it, dear? I don't suppose it would hurt to tell me now that my birthday has passed.
GEORGE	(increasing panic ): It was a... it is a...
LAURA	(quickly ): It's a shawl, mama Bush, a lovely shawl.
BARBARA	(beaming, but mildly ironic): Oh, how nice, dear. (mock puzzlement ) But what prevented you from bringing it yesterday? Were you in the "war room" too?
LAURA	(nervous giggle, dismissive hand gesture ): Oh, mama Bush! Of course not! I was just tendin' to all my...
BARBARA	(brightly, a bit more ironic ): ...Your charities, dear? Oh, well then, I understand completely!
LAURA	(suddenly unsmiling, with just a hint of fight ): Y'know, mama Bush, you got a way'a...
BARBARA:	...Finishing your sentences? Yes, I know. Conversation with you goes so much faster that way. (eyes narrow slightly) And besides, you never actually say much that's new, do you, dear?
LAURA	(looks down at her shoes, mumbles ): No ma'am.
GEORGE	(quickly) Gee, mama, it's such a surprise to see you! To what...heh, heh...to what do we owe the pleasure a' your visit? (then, forgetting to smile ) I mean, why're you here, mama?
BARBARA	(still looking at LAURA ) I wanted to talk to you about the twins, George. How do you plan to deal with them?
GEORGE	Well, I don't know that they so much need "dealin' with ", mama, I...
BARBARA	(still focused on LAURA )...Don't you think they're getting a little out of hand, George? Isn't it time to take a firm stand with them?
GEORGE	Oh, now mama. I don't know. Sure, they been misbehavin' a little bit. But that's what spirited kids'll do. Heck, mama, you know that. Look at all you hadda put up with with us kids...
BARABARA	(turning her attention to GEORGE ) ...Why, what do you mean by that, Georgie?
GEORGE	(sensing dangerous ground ): Oh, you know, mama...I mean, well, heck, I was sure in a lotta trouble before...
BARBARA	(sweetly puzzled ): ... I don't recall that you were ever in any particular trouble, dear.
GEORGE	(now in full flight ) Uh...well, you know, back when I was doin'...(stops suddenly) well, OK. Never mind about me then. What about Neil, when he... (the room becomes deadly silent. LAURA gasps and raises her hand to her mouth )
BARBARA	(eyes narrowing, expression dark ): I certainly don't recall any trouble with Neil, either, George – dear
GEORGE	(incredulous): Whaaat?! Aw mama, you know – all them poor folks in them savin's and loans, when Neil...(a look of sudden understanding) well, when Neil... I mean when he... (voice trails off. He looks around the room desperately, seeking rescue )
BARABARA	(reproving): Well, I certainly don't think that's an appropriate topic for such a nice day. (turns suddenly to LAURA) Do you, Laura? (LAURA looks up suddenly, eyes wide, as if shot )
GEORGE	(quickly ) Well, mama, I don't know what you think I can do. I mean, the girls're pretty much grown now...
BARBARA	(still smiling, but completely no-nonsense now ): I'll tell what you will do, dear. You will call the girls and point out the growing number of military academies that are – unadvisedly, but perhaps providentially – accepting young women into their ranks. You will assure them that if they cannot restrain themselves in future, they will have your whole-hearted support in their new military careers.
	(GEORGE attempts to say something. ..).
	Then you will call in the Chief of their Secret Service detail, and tell him that if there are any further occurrences of this sort he and his crew will find themselves permanently guarding the Tomb of the Unknowns – from the inside. (brightly once again, and with finality ) I think that should prove quite effective.
GEORGE	(sputtering): But, mama...
BARBARA	(cutting him off ): I think that's all I wanted to say, dear. Except, and, believe me, I hate to say it, but I'm a little disappointed that you and Laura have let this situation deteriorate to the point where we have all become a laughing-stock. I'm only glad your father isn't alive to see this.
GEORGE	(totally confused ): But mama, Poppy ain't dead
BARBARA	(looks at him for a moment, then stands): Yes. Well. I'm sure that's the way you see it, dear. (pats LAURA on the shoulder, smiling brightly ) So nice to see you again, Laura. You must come by soon. And when you do you won't forget to bring my lovely shawl, will you, dear?
LAURA	(by now practically melted into the couch ): Yes, ma'am. No ma'am.
BARABAR	There's a good girl. (turning to GEORGE ) You have some telephone calls to make, don't you, Georgie?
GEORGE	(grabbing telephone and hysterically stabbing buttons ): You bet, mama!
	(BARBARA EXITS. GEORGE waits as telephone connection is made )
GEORGE	Gosh, Laura, wasn't it great to see mama? And she had some great ideas too, don't y'think?
	(without lifting her head, LAURA slowly raises her eyes to look at GEORGE as we. ..)
	FADE TO BLACK