Character Flaw
In the year of Grace 2000
We sought a leader sublime
A paragon without blot or smirch
Who would reward our ardent search,
Who'd take the presidential vows and
Really mean them this time

The office's previous tenant
Had brought a bit of disgrace
'Though politically handy
He was a little too randy
To suit our puritan taste

So candidates came by the hundreds
But faltered quickly because
Somewhere in their pasts they'd blundered
Due to terrible character flaws

One was perhaps a little too tall
Another a little too smart
This one a little too sour
That one a little too tart
One was a little too female
(Although a real go-getter)
Another a little too dark
(The less said about that the better)

And when hope had all but vanished
And the future seemed drear and black
Proud George arose to banish
All thought of the motley pack

At last, a leader of effortless grace
Who could say to you with straightest face
That black was white or day the night
And mean it in every case

A supple mind unfettered by fact,
Or even a hint of conviction,
A stunningly sterling pedigree,
With no... provable dereliction

Rejoice! America! Oh, Rejoice!
You could not have made a better choice!
The man who answered our nation's call
Has no character flaws... because...
He has no character at all!